Just to prove once and for all that I'm an idiot, I let my alter ego take over now and then.
http://rescuingprovidence.com/the-ems/
Attention All Operatives:
As you may or may not be aware, The Director of THE EMS is the original undercover boss, and as such
works alongside field medics. It has come to the attention of The Director that it may not be in the best interests of THE EMS to continue operations unarmed.
Considering the objective of THE EMS is to mitigate medical emergencies and transport injured parties to appropriate facilities, with patient care being the # 1 priority, and the onslaught of intoxicated, combative patients threatens to overwhelm some units, the following patient neutralization methods are being considered:
-tazer
-handgun
-poison darts
-biting sarcasm
-dirty looks
-fisticuffs
-Motorola projectile
The director will keep you informed of any progress in the field. Input suggested and encouraged.
That is all.
Threats? “We’ve got a black coffee I.V. with your name on it, pal.”
Snide comments? “Looks like they were right about the inverse effect of alcohol on your I.Q.”
Ha! I need a good sidekick with a snarky comment arsenal, interested?
I’ll get my thesaurus …