The French Raise

Overheard in the triage area of Roger Williams Hospital , nearing the end of a long shift, as a patient waited on our stretcher to be transfered to the theirs:


"The back goes up with the button, but to raise it you need manual."

"I need a manual to raise it?"

"No, it's a manual raise."

"If we were in Spain would it be a Manuel' raise?"

"Everything is Manuel  in Spain."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"If we were in Portugal would it be a Manny raise?"

"Maybe in Fall River"

"In France is it an Emmanuel raise?"

"Only if it's a female stretcher."

"This is a male stretcher."

"So it's a manual raise."

"Emmanuel is an erotic movie."

"Erotic movies always give me a lift."

"I always get a rise out of erotic movies."

"Ah, so it's an Erotic Manual French Raising Stretcher."

"I guess."



I pumped the foot pedal and the hospital stretcher rose to the height of ours. Our patient refused any additional help and scooted over, happy to be rid of us.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *