Why EMT’s are the true masters in the bedroom

Okay, Melissa, Mike and Billy, you’ve had your fun.

Now it’s time for the REAL great lovers to be exposed. Firefighters have their cute little calendars; cops have the tools and that “up against the wall and spread ‘em” stuff going on, and police wives are, well…police wives!

When it’s time to get down to the bare essence of the lovemaking act, the EMT is obviously the best choice.

1) We bring beds with us.
2) We don’t make any money, so we try harder.
3) We stay UP all night.
4) Bodily fluids excite us.
5) We are experts with restraints and latex.
6) We can have your clothes off before you know you’re naked.
7) Bright lights or total darkness, we can handle it all!

Firefighters need a crew to do things right. Ever see a firefighter do anything by themselves? Not that a group experience isn’t something to think about, or maybe even give a go “in college,” but when the novelty of all that weird stuff wears off, there is nothing better than being in the arms of somebody who knows every inch of you. EMTs know every inch of the human body. We know what makes it tick, how to keep it going, how to slow it down; jeez, we can even bring a person back to life for one more round.

sexy paramedic
“Oh, hey girl.” (via Pinterest)

The police might be fun for a tryst or two — the handcuffs, the utility belt, the mystique and all that testosterone — but what it all boils down to in the boudoir is “give and take.” I have yet to meet a police officer who takes as well as they give. Sometimes you have to give up the control, and the perfect person for that job is the EMT. We’re used to letting the police and firefighters THINK they are in charge, all while knowing who really is.

As for the wives (or husbands)?

Yeah the police spouses are passionate, and I guess firefighter spouses are too, but you have to ask the question: are they there for the man (or woman) or are they in it for the uniform? Let’s face it, put your average, or even way below average Joe in one of those costumes and presto, instant sex appeal! EMTs are well aware that their uniforms are about as sexy as the UPS guy’s. But somehow we manage to rise above our emergency responder counterparts and prove once and for all: it’s not the wrapping that makes the heart go pitter-patter. It’s what’s underneath that really matters when the lights go down.

sexy paramedic
“All this depsite our uniforms being about as sexy as the UPS guys.” (via Proprofs)
The rest of the article and more fun at Uniformstories.com!
 

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