No Hugs! (unless you are Scott Grace)

A friend asked me to repost this, I took it down from my Facebook page because of the profound sadness that overwhelmed me yesterday made it seem inappropriate.

As the pain diminishes memories of our time together returns, and his very innapropriateness made me love him even more.

Scott passed away earlier this week. He was 44. He didn’t ¬†overdose, he didn’t commit suicide, he got sick and died, thinking he would feel better in the morning.

This is for my friend, Scott Grace, the one exception to my no hug rule.

“Bring it in for the real thing!”

I’ll hunt you down in the afterlife for one more you fabulous bastard. Godspeed.

From years ago, When Scott would make me hug him even though I pretended to hate it…

As beautiful a person as there is. Rest now, we’ll keep playing, feel free to join us when the spirit moves you.


What is up with all this handshake huggy stuff all the young guys are doing now? Every time I go to shake somebodies hand who happens to be under thirty they drag me in and give me a hug. Don’t like it. Nothing personal, but I like my space.¬† My brother, the Iraq war veteran, Correctional Officer all around tough guy and I have been through fistfights, rockfights, a knife fight or two and a couple of gunfights-never hugged. Children have been born, homes bought, parents died, kids graduated, milestone after milestone and we never hugged. The last time we touched anything other than our right hands was our last episode of Kung Fu, Ali-Frasier¬†wrestling when we were twelve and ten. I love the man, and am not afraid to say it, I’d take a bullet for him, but NO HUGS!

From here on, if anybody attempts to hug me during a handshake, I will be forced to assume I’m being brought close for something deadly, a shiv attack or worse, and respond with deadly force of my own. The ancient Babble-on-ians started the handshake as a means of holding their enemies hand to avert an attack. That’s when men were men, no hugging allowed. I like it that way, nice and simple.

If you feel an overwhelming desire to hug while greeting substitutes are acceptable. Wives, girlfriends and mothers will do.


  • Agree completely!!! My dad doesn’t hug me. My father-in-law, of only 2 years, bestows a rather soggy kiss on my right cheek, as well as a hug!! No thanks!

  • Jean says:

    Even in my female world, I prefer it as a special event detail. It can be overdone.

  • Chrys says:

    Geesh, Michael. I was going to say it isn’t like they’ve grabbed you and kissed you on both cheeks, ha,ha.

  • AL says:

    I think someone needs a hug today.

  • XOXOXO to you my east coast brother!

  • Ryan says:

    That’s it. . .you’re getting a hug your first day back at the station. I’m even going to go so far as to talk Capt. into giving you one also.

  • admin says:

    Haha, thanks for the love; still NO HUGS!

  • Teri says:

    I am a hug lover… only if I know you!! I used to be put off by people at big shindigs meeting me for the first time and hugging and an air kiss? bleh not for me thanks!

  • Well if I ever met you…you’ll get a hug and that’s the end of it. A hug for all the encouragment given during this last three ‘fighting’ years. Not sure if I come under the banner of ‘Hot Mother’ but have from time to time been called ‘Yummie Mummie’ by my son’s friends. You must respect your elders too, so it’s a hug you’ll get young man !!!

  • Lori Crowshaw says:

    Scott Grace gave the best hugs…he was just that guy. In the ED, in the fire station or out on the street, he never missed a chance to give one of his hugs. He was irresistible! Love, love, love him, today and always.
    Mrs. Fabulous

  • Michelle Lynn says:

    Gosh Gracie did give the best hugs sometimes a tickle or and extra squeeze to go along with it. He is truly missed. Thanks for reposting this…
    We will see you again my friend – Michelle Lynn

  • Paul Campbell says:

    My favorite cousin! How i miss his hugs. Miss the phone calls just to see how I was. Love you, Cuz!!! Till we see each other again ((((HUGS))))

  • Anonymous says:

    I was an altar boy with scott at St Martha’s for years, I’ve since moved away and only recently heard about his passing. He was always a good soul, a great guy, obviously went on to better things

  • Scott Grace says:

    I will hug you if I ever see you

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